The Secret to a Woman’s Happiness

Pierre Van ZylLearn, Personal Growth + Development


Most women have been conditioned to get married, be a good wife, mother and caretaker. While many men are taught to be themselves and marriage seems to just show up for them. It may be in the best interest for most men to marry, however, a behavioural scientist has found that unmarried women with no kids are among the healthiest and happiest population.

If you’re already married with kids, you can still find happiness with a family, however, it’s ok to fantasize about alone time. According to science says so, that might also be the secret to happiness.

Many women feel pressure from family, society and their own self worth to rush to the altar or get in the birthing position, however you may be happier, and live longer – if you just spend more time enjoying yourself, and your life, just the way it is. Not necessarily alone, but without a ring, a different last name, and kids.

Behavioural scientist and professor, Paul Dolan says that while “married people are happier than other population subgroups”, that only applies “when their spouse is in the room when they’re asked how happy you are”. 

“When the spouse is not present: f-ing miserable”.

Paul Dolan teaches at the London School of Economics, and claims that “the healthiest and happiest population is the subgroup of women who never married or had children.”

Happy Ever After: Escaping the Myths of the Perfect Life is Dollans latest writing creation. He reflects on data from the American Time Use Survey (ATUS) that focused on collecting data from different types of people – single, married, separated, divorced, widowed – to compare happiness levels. 

While men seemed to benefit more from marriage than women, as Dolan explains in his book most men “calm down” after they tie the knot. They take less risks, earn more money at work, and live longer. While the wife has to “put up with that, and dies sooner than if she was never married”.

“If you’re a man, you should probably get married; if you’re a woman, don’t bother”, says Dolan – boldy.

“When you see a single woman of 40, who have never had children — ‘Bless, that’s a shame, isn’t it? Maybe one day you’ll meet the right guy and that’ll change.’”

“No, maybe she’ll meet the wrong guy and that’ll change,” he added. “Maybe she’ll meet a guy who makes her less happy and healthy, and die sooner.”

Women can be happy without a husband and children. What do you think?

  1. Professor Paul Dolan
  2. Singled out: why can’t we believe unmarried, childless women are happy?

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