When You’re a Runner and Your Spouse is Not

Angelanon-running spouse, runner problems, Running

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When You're a Runner and Your Spouse is Not

Without fail, when I first meet someone new and they find out I’m a runner, one of questions is usually, “Does your husband run?” 

Short answer, no.

Long answer, yes but he doesn’t like it, so not really?

It’s no secret that running is a big part of my life.  When you start up a blog 7 years ago just because you want to find more like minded people to discuss running with and you eventually become a running coach, it’s kind of obvious I like it.

Since Ron and I’ve been together (almost 20 years and 16 of those years married!), fitness has been a part of our lives.  Scratch that.  It was always a part of mine and Ron was trying to find his way back to healthy living after a slump of being not so healthy.  We started going to the gym together and just being more active mountain biking and hiking.

Eventually, I started to run more especially when I had the goal of doing a half marathon before I turned 30. Occasionally, Ron would hop in for a short run of 2-3 miles but nothing more.

Once I caught the running bug after the kids were born, that continued.  I would head out for a run, Ron would stay home with the kids.  In fact, he would push me out of the house when I was training for my first half marathon after the kids.  It was hard to leave my babes because I didn’t want to miss a thing.  But Ron told me to go run.  It was good for me, good for the babes and good for Ron.  Putting in those miles after the kiddos helped me remember that I was still the same Angela rather than a zombie of a mom who changes endless amounts of diapers and does countless feedings.

When You're a Runner and Your Spouse is Not | happyfitmama.comSigns courtesy of Ron

Over the years, we’ve figured out a schedule.  I became the early morning workout/runner and he would hit the gym after work.  It works out well for us because he’s not a morning person and I’m ready to fall asleep at 5 p.m.

Now, Ron is not totally against running.  He’ll pop out a mile or three at the gym occasionally.  He’s joined me for a trail run when we had some time before picking the kids up from school. Or he’ll participate in our annual family Turkey Trot at Thanksgiving.

It’s just that he doesn’t want to run more than that.  It’s “boring”. When You're a Runner and Your Spouse is Not | happyfitmama.comRon waiting with the kiddos at the finish line of yet another race.  At least the kids had the beach to keep them occupied!

Do I wish Ron was a runner?  Sometimes.

When I see other runner couples out enjoying a race or a long run together, it makes me wish Ron liked running.

But truthfully, I’m glad he doesn’t like running.

First of all, we aren’t fighting over who gets to run long first on the weekends.  Second, we don’t have to fight over who gets to run which race because one parent has to hang out with the kids. Third, he’s a really good Instagram husband at races.  It’s always nice to have pics from the course thanks to him. If he ran, I wouldn’t have any of those shots. (Selfish?  Absolutely). And lastly, it’s my thing.  I’m the crazy runner in the family who runs up mountains or runs long distances. I like that.

Maybe once the kids are older and we won’t need baby-sitters, Ron will find that he actually likes running.  That might be cool.  Just as long as he doesn’t get faster than me…kidding.  Sort of.  Not really. 🙂

When You're a Runner and Your Spouse is Not | happyfitmama.comThe one time I got him to run a trail race 5 years ago!

Ron doesn’t really understand why I run so much.  He doesn’t understand how I keep going back to running even though it has caused me pain. He doesn’t understand why I leave a warm bed at an unholy hour to run in the cold and the dark. He doesn’t understand why I talk about running so much.

But what he does understand is that it’s important to me.

He will help me roll out my calves every night. He doesn’t complain that my early alarm interrupts his sleep. He listens to my mind-numbing boring stories of running every single day.  Sometimes he even offers feedback (if he’s still listening). When I’m debating about registering/not registering for a race, he tells me to do it.

He knows running makes me a happier, more confident person, so that’s good enough for him. That’s all he needs to understand.


When you’re a runner but your spouse is not. #runchat #runnerproblems
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Linking up with Coaches Corner and Wild Workout Wednesday.

Does your significant other run?

Do you wish they did/did not?

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